We have been together for 14 years, married for almost 5. We have three small and beautiful children together. Life is good, hard but good.
We struggle as most couples do. We move through ebbs and flows. Sometimes we are gliding calmly and enjoying the journey. Other times we are fighting the current to stay afloat.
There are times where all seems easier to simply throw in the towel. Stop the hardship, end the struggle. The grass seems more luscious and beautiful on the other side. Why not make a trip there? Alone.
When your energy is being spent caring for little ones. Constantly exhausted and trying making a life work while trying to balance a family of 5, the idea of handing out more love is exhausting. Love shouldn’t be exhausting. It should come easier, it should be glorious and shiny.
But I have come to realize that love is not shiny. It’s not perfect or polished. Love is raw.
Like raw amethyst mined from the depths of a dark cave. It’s intricate stone and years of pressure have made it a beautiful crystal full of beautiful potential. None are exactly alike but all are beautiful in its own simplicity and intricacy.
Love can be dark. Love can be scary. Love is a choice.
My best friend has been telling me this for years. Love is a choice. I have always heard her speak the words but it has only been lately that I have really heard her.
My beautiful bestie Ashley and I were recently talking on one of our weekly playdates, having a coffee on nap time. I was saying how things are hard. Marriage is hard and I felt lost. She told me ‘love is a choice, a choice that we make to make it work’. I heard her for the first time. And I believed her.
Love is a choice. The choice to stay when all your instincts are telling you to jump ship. A choice to let in some light when the darkness seems to be too much. A choice to try. A choice to love even when you see all the flaws.
Now I am not trying to say that the choice is always a easy one or trying to say that we always need to choose to stay. We each have our own paths and own journey, I am not one to judge another’s life path.
Love just isn’t the sparkly and beautiful charade that Hollywood or society tells it should be. We are starting to airbrush beauty of love. It does to have a perfect story and beautiful smile all the time. It has beauty in a ‘no make up’ type of way. Love has the beauty of a sun gleaming in on your beautiful face first thing in the morning. Love is beautiful like a over gown thick of windflowers, or messy bed on a rainy Sunday morning. It is really beauty. Love has the beauty of comfort and acceptance. Love has a pure and honest beauty. No airbrushing needed.
Today I choose love in all it’s forms. No matter how rough the ride can be.