Today is my girls birthday, my baby girls.
Today is a day that goes down in my own history as the day it all changed. Forever, I will be changed by their existence.
The moment I changed. The world opened up to me in a way I never have experienced before. The moment they were born it was like I became a flower drinking in the sunlight on a spring morning. Moving closer to the warmth, to feel the rays penetrating my delicate petals. As I reminisce, I am drawn to believing that my daughters were my sunlight. I know this did not happen in an ‘all of a sudden’ kind of way, but more of a slow and beautiful process. With each moment we shared together moved me closer to a full blossom. Each smile, Each touch. They moved me. They allowed me to feel the warmth of their beautiful sunlight.
My radiant daughters were and always will be the light for me. They will always move me in ways like no other. Their beauty and power to transform me and our family will always be spectacular!
Chloe and Charlotte turn four today. It is a beautiful day to celebrate two little girls who have changed me forever. My journey with them is the journey of my life, and will be never ending. They push me to be the mother and woman I was born to be.
Happy Birthday Chloe and Charlotte.
Yesterday I went on a silent meditation retreat for the whole day. It was an incredible experience. Silence. For hours. My voice was stilled and the outside noise was minimal. My peace was refreshed.
I was able to do a lot of writing and journaling. We ate a beautiful lunch. I sat by a fire for hours. I walked the grounds of the retreat centre. The winter air and snowy landscape was absolutely breath taking.
I wrote a poem about the beauty and peace walks gave to me.
Cool and fresh
Misting over the blue pashmina
The crisp air tingles my throat
Cooling my fiery insides
Filling my soul with fresh clarity
The droplets form
Created by they synergy of winter air and hot breath
It surrounds me
It belong here
I am free here
Surrounded by my freedom
Giving back what I take
Filling up the buckets
That have been depleted
I belong here
Full and hearty
I truly belong
I want to tell stories. Drift away with my writing, sinking deep into the words. I want to create story boards, nurture ideas and illustrate characters. I want to dig deep withing to divulge my passions. I want to write and have time to really feel it. I want time to be the writer I want to be. But time is not on side, right now responsibilities pull me away. My life beckons me to be present. To be there to ‘do’ the work necessary to be ‘mom’. Right now all I have are stolen moments of time.
Stolen moments only tease my desires, like secret kisses in the moonlight. Taunting and flirting. They pull me along for the ride, keeping me intrigued and entertained. Allowing me to believe something real can come from these rendezvous at midnight. My current relationship with writing is like a fiery and passionate love affair. An affair full of desire, allowing an escape from monotony of my current life.
My affair is turbulent. It has no stability or security. The intensity is strong. I feel passionate and energetic when I am given the moments to write and really create the art that I love. This keeps me snatching my stolen moments, even if it is all I have. If these moments fuel the dream for just a little longer. The dream can be a reality, with enough passion and love, it can blossom into something real. With enough stolen moments of time.