I was talking to my Mr. Kennedy yesterday. Alone. We were conversing as adults. It was nice.
We were enjoy that brief moment of alone time at the dinner table.
That sweet moment were you can disappear together.
If you have young children, you know this moment.
The moment that they are done their plates (or what they are going to eat from them) their bellies full and they are feeling happy and free.
They saunter off in their food haze, unaware that mommy and daddy are doing something without them.
That sweet moment to finish your dinner, trying hard not to pay too much attention to fact that you are eating cold pancakes for the 4 time this month because it is the one food you wont have to force feed your toddlers.
And in my case, I got to share that moment with the man that so often gets neglected and put last on the household ‘list’.
We were talking about our days, our food, the kids, hockey….all the real important stuff that keeps are world spinning.
And during this conversation we had a moment.
A shared moment of epiphany.
Heres how it went down:
Me: My parents are back in town from their trip. Want to go over for dinner tomorrow? They will have the girls for the day and we can go over after work. What would you like to do?
Him: *pause* umm…..
My response is already boiling in my head. The typical wife and husband routine about the ‘parental’ visits.
Me: So? What are you going to do? come or not?
Him: I think I will stay here. I need sone time where no-one is needing or demanding anything from me.
My initial reaction was to freak out.
What?!?! You need some time? What about me?
But I stopped myself.
It would only start a fight and we would both lose.
Instead I asked him,
‘are you feeling overwhelmed?’
Instead of his usual joking and lack of seriousness, he was truthful and honest. He responded with a simple ‘Yes’.
No dramatics. No fights over who us ‘more tired’ or ‘works harded’. No judgement or blame game.
We both simply respected each others feelings and concerns.
It was refreshing.
He decided to stay home tonight.
And I took a lesson from his honesty and told him I could use some ‘out of office’ time.
No demands, no tasks, no ‘to do list’.
He was happy for me go get that. He was helpful and accommodating.
I went to a late movie to see ‘les miserables’ with my best friend. It was incredible and simply for me.
It was truly refreshing and liberating to have our feelings respected with no attached judgments or drama.
“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” -Tom Mullen