It has been a stressful two weeks.
I have been distancing myself from everything.
Keeping my life arms length.
Keeping my space.
Staying in my protective bubble.
Locked away from life and its experiences.
I am simply going through the motions.
It is unhelathy.
It makes me feel angry, frustrated and lost.
I needed a moment to snap me back. Bring me back to my life.
And it happened last night.
I was driving home after running some errands.
I was in the car alone. Hungry and grumpy.
I was frowning and feeling sorry for myself.
Then it hit me.
I talk big and read all these quotes and books on how to be the person I want to be. It has been drilled in my head that I have to power to be who I want.
I can put out into the world what I want to recieve back. 
I can manifest happiness.
I know these truths but I do not know the practice of these truths.
and the practice of this honest life is what is needed.
Not just the knowledge but the life lived in pure truth and happiness.
It only took a moment, but it was as if someone layed it out for me.
The red carpet, leading me to it.
It is just that.
It is not complex or difficult to achieve.
It is a matter of stopping the cycle of over analysing and smile.
Simply smile.
I started to laugh.
Loud and happy giggles emerged.
I felt light, excited and I smiled. Hard.
I told myself that if I just kept on smiling I could feel happy all the time.
I could ‘fake it till I make it’.
It helped.
It made it ok.
It made the stress go away. For that moment, I was light. I was free.
I was smiling.
Breath in, Breath out
one minute at a time.
I choose to be happy.
I choose to smile.
I wish you all a wondeful winter solstice. I will be celebrating tonight with some great friends.
Food, drinks and a night together is exacly what is needed on this stormy winter night.
I will try and write again before christmas, but if not, I wish you all a Merry Christmas.
Remeber to smile.
Much love,

lighting my inner spirit aflame

I am blessed with wonderful woman in my life.
I have an abundance of feminine energy surrounding me.
I know how extremely fortunate I am to have these beautiful and strong woman around me.
There are three woman who have coming to my thoughts much more lately.
Three woman who I have been so lucky to have in my life for over 15 years.
These ladies are strong.
They are beautiful.
We are different.
All of us. But that is what is lovely about us coming together and growing along side each other.
We bring such wonderful dynamics and energy to our relationship.  
We fit like a puzzle.
Mold together fludily.
With no resistance.
Our relationship ia amazing.  
It is always growing and developing but like no other ‘female-friendship’ relationship in my life. We are changing all the time. These woman are so integral in my life that I am never afraid to be my true self in front of them.
I never feel judged.
I never feel belittled.
I never feel unimportant.
These beautiful souls have filled up my confidence. They make me feel strong, they make me reach out and find who I am really am. They push me to honor my ‘true’ self
Wordlessly they let me know that no matter what, they will choose to stay around.
It is hard to honor your deepest being. Your true existence.
It can be quite a battle to be OK with who you really are and what your true path is.
We seem to try so hard to please. We strive to be accepted. To stick within the ‘norm’.
It can make is extremely frightening to listen to the dialogue that lets us know who we really are. It can be hard to follow that given path.
It is made significantly easier by the existence of trusting and loving people in your life to let you know they still love you. 
To be filled with such acceptance is intensly uplifting.
I know.
Because on top of my loving family who seems to accept all variations of me, I have these friends.
These lovely and accepting friends.
I love you. That is somethng I don’t tell you enough. I do love and honor you as the individuals that you are and the group we create. Thank you for your presense in my life and your affect on who I am becoming.

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer
Much love,