We change. We morph. We grow.
Every day, every hour, every minute. Our life and our souls are being molded and sculpted to our world around us.
We are like the shoreline as the tide rolls in.The water representing life and the shore representing our being. The water rolls in and out. Dancing on top of us. Changing the shore with its intentions. The mold able ground below morphs to accept the dense body of water as it gently pushes it to surrender. It takes new shapes, molds to the force and takes on new debris. Each day it changes. Some changes are only temporary, but some stay permanent. Our core beliefs stay the same, as the geographical sense of the shoreline will stay the same, but the appearance and outer layer will look different on many occasions.
Just as in our own life, the events and movement of the world changes us. These lasting changes make us the unique individual that we are and are always becoming.
I accept that people are always changing. I am always changing. I am not the same person I was even last year. But what I find hard to comprehend is how relationships are suppose to withstand this constant flow of change.
Relationships all begin with our connections. We connect with people. We have connecting lives and similar interest. We love people for what they bring to our own lives. We are then connected and intertwined in each other. These relationships are essential for happiness and our well being. We desire to feel connected to others on all levels, emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually.
We find the right fit for us and stick with it. Cling hard what it feels like and its simplicity once it is figured out. But how soon we forget that all things will change as do the dynamics of our relationships. We will change as people and people change with us.
When we change, do we naturally flow together creating a peaceful currant through the in’s and out’s of life? or do our changes clash with each other creating a tsunami of emotions and frustrations.
If the changes in our lives are like and cold front meeting a warm front, we will inevitably create a nasty storm. We soon become our worst enemies. with the storm brewing, our inner dialogue breaks us down and creates resentment.
‘I don’t like this.’
‘I want it like it used to be!’
‘Go back to the way it was’
Our dialogue suppresses us. It makes it hard to feel free to be the people we want to be and let the people we love become who they are supposed to be.
We can’t truly expect things to ‘ever go back to the way it was’. We are not stagnant beings. Our life force flows. We all have currants, some stronger then others, making our personalities and life choices change a regular basis.
Stop and think,
Do I expect people to stay the same?
Do I expect my children to stay the same?
Do I expect my relationship dynamics to be perfect and never change?
I know that on a more then a few occasions, I have expected all those to be true. I have looked at change with anger, frustration and resentment. I have acted out in these feelings, pushing and fighting my way through, hoping to bully my way back into ‘the way it was’. I did this when I was unprepared for the changes. When I felt like I had just got it ‘perfect’ and then lost it to the change.
I know the anger was legitimate. Anger is OK, we are allowed to feel it. It is what we do with that anger that is important.
But I will tell you right now, acting out got me nowhere. I only felt more sadness for the outcome. I ended up feeling lost and confused.
I finally broke and realized change is inevitable. Not only for me but for the people in my life.
It is finally time to accept what is necessary.
I am being me. The true and ever changing me. I am letting you be you, the true and ever changing you. And since I love you whole heartedly, we will find a way to flow together through the waves of life, hand and hand.
“It is life, I think, to watch the water. A man can learn so many things.”
-Nicholas Sparks “a walk to remember”
|The flow of water reminds me of the constant change of life.|