Last night I attending a workshop put on by the ‘early years center/CROW’.
I was called ‘How to talk to your kids so they will listen’.
I was very eye opening!
We did this exercise where we had to imagine ourselves in a frustrating and stressful situation and then listen to multiple responses when we tried to talk about/explain our day.
During this exercise I realized that I get very angry and upset when someone tries to tell me how to fix my problem or asks to many questions.
Also I seem doubt and belittle myself when it is obvious that I am not believed or if someone takes the other person side over mine.
Why would I expect my children to feel any different?
If Chloe comes to me crying saying
“Mommy, Cinderella broken!”
And I respond with
“Well I told you not to play so rough with it!”
Or if Charlotte is crying because
I am putting blame on her.
I haven’t even acknowledge her sadness.
Of course she is going to cry louder or throw a fit.
She feels like no one cares.
She feels like no one heard her.
I know how I feel when I am trying to opening up and whoever I am talking to doesn’t seem to hear me.
I feel upset.
My confidence is swayed.
I feel angry.
I feel sad.
Simply put, I feel disrespected and close down the lines of communication (or if it is Court that is not listening to me, I yell at him. I know it sounds dysfunctional, but hey at least I am being honest.)
Why did it take attending a workshop and two years to finally connect the dots that kids are people too?
I mean I know they are ‘people’ but why did it take me so long to realize that they want the same things you or I want out of relationships.
Mostly they just want to be heard.
An open ear is the only believable sign to an open heart