How tall am I?

As some of you may already know I am pregnant. 
It is not necessarily how I  had ‘planned’ it. 
I always thought that we would wait till the twins were four or five till we tried for more children. 
But my girls are only two. 
They will be two and and half when the new baby is born. 
Are we setting our self up for disaster?
On wonderfully blissful days in my house, I look at my happy family and think 
‘A new person will only make this family more full, more content and happier’. 
My maternal little girls who love babies and dolls will be a great help. 
We will be happy and joyful all the time!
Then on stressful, long, torturous days (like yesterday) I think 
‘What the hell was I thinking getting pregnant again! Being responsible for another? Really! I can barley keep my cool with these two!’
(Why does it seem like we always think in extremes?  
Either I will be joyful parent all the time with a baby strapped to my chest and a 2 year old on each hand or be a terrible parent who yells at her kids while they turn in to TV zombies and eat junk food. 
There seems to be no in between in my mind.)
Yesterday was torturous. 
Chloe was having a bad day.
Charlotte was just egging her on. 
All day there was whining.
Chloe just couldn’t control it. 
It just kept coming.  
(Here are soem examples of what I heard ALL day yesterday:)
Chloe: “Mommmmmmmmy…mommmmmy…..go now!”
Chloe: “Mommmmy……Lunch now….lunch now…LUNCH NOW!”
Chloe: “Mommmmmmmy…..Up…up…UPY!”
Chloe: Mommmmy….Do it…now! Mommy get it!” 
Me: “Chloe ask nicely please.”
Chloe: “NO!”
(all with tears and distraught in her voice)
(This dialogue is my favorite)
 Chloe: ” MOMMMMMMMMMMY! chocolate cookie now!”
(while I am placing the cookies in the oven and ignoring the whining happening behind me) 
Court: “Mommy is baking the cookies. They will be ready soon. Chloe, please be patient.”
Chloe: *tears*
Court: “Chloe, please stop whining, if you keep on whining, you will not be allowed to have a cookie”
Chloe: Silence
A look passes between Court and I, we do that ‘telepathic parent thing’. 
Finally she listened to us, No arguments, No anger.  
Maybe her bad day is coming to an end. 
We make a silent agreement, Lets just make sure no matter what we do not mention cookies till they are ready. 
Then not even 10 seconds later…..
Charlotte: “Daddy,  Mommy bake chocolate cookie! Cookie ready soon! Chloe, cookies ready soon! CHLOE!!!”
Chloe: “COOKIES NOW…mommmmmy…cookies!!!” (tears)

All the whining with Charlotte following behind by saying, 
Charlotte: “Mommy, Chloe angry”
Charlotte: “Mommy, Chloe time out”
Charlotte: “Mommy, Chloe sad”
I started by being calm. 
“Chloe, please use your big girl words.”
“Chloe, please ask nicely”
“Charlotte, leave your sister alone, she is very grumpy today”
Those words made a slow progression to frustration by the end of the day. 
By bath time I was ringing a different tune. 
At the end of the day I felt like a failure. 
My little girl was having a bad day and I could keep my cool. 
But it was just so much whining….
 How much can the average mom take before losing it?
How come I wasn’t informed in my prenatal classes about toddler whining?
I feel that is an important piece of information kept from me.
Why didn’t anyone tell me I would hate the sound of whining more then  the sound of nails on a chalkboard?
I went to bed feeling a little lost in my parenting and worried about this new baby I was about to have.
Then this morning, I go upstairs at 6:30 am. 
My girls are awake. 
I see them and they smile big. 
They are both in the same crib.  
(Chloe has taken a habit of climbing into Charlotte’s crib every chance she gets)
Smiling and laughing.
“Mommy, go downstairs?”
“Mommy, Chloe and Charlotte playing!”
Maybe today will be a nicer day. 
Maybe today I will feel equip to bring another into this world.
“If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” 
Much love, 


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