More like myself

Yesterday We walked and walked. The ladies and I took advantage of the beautiful weather! It was amazing! Spring like temperatures in February really work wonders on the energy level πŸ™‚

On our morning walk I decided to come the long way home since the girls were catching a few Zs.

This long way brought me past the high school in Almonte. As I walked past my old school, I noticed a sign that said “Grade Nine information night”  I started thinking, how many years has it been since I was in grade nine? How long has it been since I was that  little kid about to embark on the huge and exciting experience of high school?

I quickly did the math and it has been 11 years. I believe I started grade nine the fall of 1999.

11 years, holy smokes, it definitely doesn’t feel like 11 years!

Just thinking about how long it had been since high school, got me thinking and reminiscing about that time in my life.

Most people when asked will say they hated high school and couldn’t wait to get out of there.

High school was for me filled with awkwardness, heartbreak, change, and frustration. It was a time in which I was growing up and on most days was frustrated with who I was becoming. So you would believe that I fit in the the category of ‘hating the high school experience’, but I don’t.

I truly loved high school, then and now (probably more now, as I tend to only really remember the good things) True, I couldn’t wait to get out of there, but I am Sagittarius and it is in our make up to crave change.

I met my husband in high school. My best friends I had then are still my best friends now. My favorite memories of my friendships and relationships usually involve high school some how.

The steps I took then in those years were critical to shaping who I have become today.

If you would have asked the little grade nine Jess if this is were she would see her self in 11 years, I can promise you the way my life has turned out would have not been her answer.

In grade nine, I had spectacular elaborate plans for my adulthood. I was going to travel the world and live a romanticized life of travelling and working. I saw these women in movies I watched  and the books I read, they were doing these amazing things all over the world and I was going to be like that. I was going to travel and experience and when I felt ready i would find someone to settle down with and have a family. I wasn’t going to have kids at a young age.  I wasn’t sure on what I was going to do with my life but I knew that I was going to make it great, and It wasn’t going to be ordinary.

Today that is not really how my life looks. I settled down with my high school boyfriend, I had kids when I was young and I haven’t travelled much.

But I am truly OK with that. I have absolutely no regrets. Living and working abroad was not for me. It is the path for many others and that is amazing but I know now that it was not my path. 

My goals changed over my teen years and twentys. I grew up and changed. I truly accepted the fate that was in front of me. I think that is why those years are so awkward and hard, your forced to change your perceptions of how your life is shaping up.  You are trying to fit into the mould that you have created for yourself. Your fighting these inner battles and trying to discover really what makes you happy.

I discovered my life and goals, I didn’t travel all over the world like I dreamed I would be 11 years ago, but I did do one thing do one thing to honor my grade nine self.

I am making my life great and It is definitely not ordinary.

We grow neither better nor worse as we get old but more like ourselves
Mary Lamberton

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Much love,

Jessica

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