Yesterday I had a great conversation with a client. I am very lucky, I attract some very wonderful people as clients. Some of the best conversations in my life have been with people I only met for the first time a few minutes prior.
Yesterdays conversation was about woman and our relationships with each other. I made me realize that female/female relationships have complex dynamics.
Our conversation was mostly based on the negative dynamics of female relationships. Without trying to sound too sexist towards my own sex, we can be quite difficult towards each other. Our competitiveness and judgements towards each other can be hurtful and hard to deal with. We tend to be much more judgemental of each others weaknesses and strengths then we are towards men. We tear each other down at times and can utilise vindictive behaviours in a very subconscious way. We do this in many aspects of our lives as woman, in the workplace, as mothers, as partners, as friends. We have all done this, judged another woman freely. It can be about anything, her clothes, her weigh, her job, her parenting style, ETC. We have all at one time in our lives been openly gossipy about another women to feel better about ourselves. So I ask the question, Why is that? Why as a society have me made it OK to do this to each other and why is it different for men?
Is is because as a sex we have more jealous qualities then men? or do we just have a subconscious need to feel more power or superiority then others?
I don’t think I have an answer. But I have a solution…
I am going to, why don’t you try as well?
Next time you feel the need to bring another woman down because you feel like your in an awful place and need some company, just don’t do it. Or the next time you are about to judge someone on their clothes or weigh or whatever else, just don’t do it. Remember that we all have our reasons for our decisions and you can never understand someone else’s reasoning with out living in their shoes for a while.
We could be much stronger as women if we only stuck together and had each others back more often. The relationship between women is so special as it is, why don’t we throw away the negativity and only keep what is so awesome about girlfriends. We can connect to each other in a way that no man can connect to us as women. We understand each other and have the same feelings and thoughts, so lets stop using the understanding to tear each other down and just work at helping each other succeed.
I wish all of you a judge free, happy day!